BF3 for first timers (and girls!)

Last night I played Battlefield 3 like most people, but I won't give you a review like most people. BF3 is my first multiplayer FPS ever. The 3 hours I have on Team Fortress 2 don't count at all.

If you want BF3 reviews because you can't get enough of Battlefield, the franchise you've been playing since you're 11 and taught you valuable life lessons like teabagging and how awesome the BF Vietnam soundtrack is, better go somewhere else.

But if what you want to play BF3 and have no idea if you should, this review is for you! (That rhymes, but the rest of the post won't)



I spawned and started as a Support not really caring about what weapon I had. Do I really look like I know about weapons?

 

 Didn't think so.

I start running after my squad and look around. Everything looks so real! There are gunshots not so far away, so I try to stay behind, but it doesn't matter because the super real looking building I was in, exploded. Right now I'm calm, "it's your first time, nobody was good at this on their first time": I didn't buy it. Around 5 minutes and 10 deaths later, I ran out of insults and curses in english, so I went back to spanish and thought of some in french just in case.

My squad leader (and boyfriend) told me to switch to Assault because the weapon something. I didn't really hear because there were tanks and helicopters around. Maybe my own hate blinded me AND made me deaf. I decided to trust him and switch because he DOES know about weapons and Battlefield.

I told you, HE KNOWS.

I was frustrated, mad, wanted to punch baby squirrels, but somehow wanted more. When I noticed that I could be 3rd and 4th in my team just by capping bases, I stopped getting so worked up about dying 14 times and killing 4. In a couple of hours I improved a little, but I kinda looked like Hulk. As crazy as it may sound, I had a lot of fun in the end when I saw that the enemies had different colored uniforms. 

The next time I play BF3 (tonight) will be the same; I'll start yelling beautiful words and puking rainbow unicorns because I'm not competitive at all, play 3 hours straight and completely forget I have to do other nice things like sleeping or drinking water.